Progress!!

Had a good day today. Actually its been a pretty good week, all told. Adressed some of the pressing gardening issues today, wish I could say I'd done it all myself but hired a local guy to bring back the hedge out the front of our units and whipper snipper down the side of mine and all the garden beds. He shall be back! (To fix up fences, put some soil in the garden beds so somethings might actually grow) Almost back to a state of being able to dream about putting some life and colour back into our garden (Autumn probably not the best time to contemplate that, but I am seeing visions of rose bushes, a veggie patch, a bird bath, a set of swings...a proper lawn)

My nursing course started this week, although I only made it to one of the two days of orientation, I am very excited about the next adventure. I think I can see myself being a nurse....I know a few, and its not such a big leap between music and medicine. Now to seriously start brushing up on my biology knowledge. There must still be some in there, somewhere.

Spent the three weeks prior in a temp placement at the Centrelink call centre spruiking the Government's latest stimulus package, reporting people's earnings, being bored out of my brain, smoking too much in the quadrangle in the freezing cold , missing the baby and watching a crane put more levels on the Centrepoint carpark. Needed to do it , partly to clear some debt, partly to prove to myself that I am actually capable of getting myself a real job, and getting myself and a small child organised enough to function in the 'real world' again.

I wasnt. We barely functioned, I was grumpy & tired, the house was trashed, I spent my Sundays depressed at the prospect of going back there, and sadly spent too much of my wage on lunch & parking & gifts for Minerva as little guilt offerings . The icing on the cake was when she yelled at me all morning whilst I was trying to get her breakfasted and dressed and then got to the child care centre and gave the carer a big snuggle!!! Grrrr!! I should be happy that she's settled in there so well and loves to play with and watch the other children, but I felt like instead I had signed over my mothering role. I knew this single motherhood would all be a huge balancing act, and so far I have dropped more balls than juggled them! Still, it's only early days.

Now I will only be on campus Monday's & Tuesdays, and there is only one full time prac placement this year, so that and study time will be the only things that will come between me & my girl, who is growing up so fast!!

We finally made it thismorning (to the 5th week!) of the swimming classes I had enrolled us in at Kingston. I didnt know any of the songs, but the teacher was great, and Min had a ball, splashing about and yelping getting thoroughly distacted by the dolphin decorations on the ceiling!! the pool is also warm, which will be a definite incentive to keep going throughout the Winter.

Had a flying visit from Nanna Di on Monday/Tuesday. Felt odd racing off in the mornings but had some good catch up time on Monday , took the stoller along the beach and finished up with a girl date at the local beachside ice cream parlour (which we filled up with sand )walked around Big W searching for beanbag beans and instead coming out with baby outfits and lollies. We are so impulsive and undisciplined!!

Keiran around tonight after a few rough weeks with us. Think we are back on track (or at least communicating, which is a nice change) and have agreed to weekly dates , and also agreed that we should organise an outing soon with just us and no third wheel in the form of a delightful but unfocussing nearly 8 month old) I am soooo ready to just go out and hang out without her. I need some of myself back!! It was really great just hanging out in the back yard on a balmy evening shooting the breeze. I really like him . He's complicated , but then so am I, and I guess I have to once and for all put to bed images of a nuclear family, being married and suburban and having a brood....unless of course.....;)