In the merry merry month of MAY

My aquaintance Natalie Monu Dixon is due to give birth to her first child today....GOOD LUCK!!!! Birth was nothing like I expected it. It was bloody awful. I cant think of one good thing about it. Except maybe the epidural, which wore off waaay too fast. I would really like to have more children but the birth thing is still a big sticking point....and the money thing. And the time to myself thing...maybe I should seriously rethink the more children thing!

Here is a cute pic of my baby girl holding onto the highchair and doing high singing noises...look out world, another future soprano diva in the making!! (in cloth nappy , you will notice...I have gone all freakin earth mother of late, even going so far as to purchase eco friendly bath cleaning products and make a better effort at recycling rubbish...goodness, what's going on??) So far so good, takes a little bit more planning , but hell, what have I got to do now?

Emily popped by yesterday afternoon which was nice, after I waited for her and Oliver to make an appearance the other day and neither of them did. I dont mind being a hermit, really, most of the time, but it is nice to find out what others are up to from time to time. She's doing ok, the jewellery is selling well, although not near enough to make it a viable employment option.

Linds is on bub duty today. We're planning on going out to base at Taxi Combined and hassling them to give me some hours back & updating his pv license.

Maudlin mood.....not sure why, has been a pretty good day. I made the difficult (but I believe, sensible) desicion to unenrol myself from Enrolled Nursing. I hadnt made it to enough of the prac or tuorials to take in enough information as the wee sprite I share an abode & a life with is entering the TEETHING ZONE. And then exiting. And then reentering. Also, since she weaned herself onto formula bottles a couple of weeks back she's come home at the end of each week with another horrible cold. I will miss all those antibodies. The upshot of all this is she doesnt sleep, I dont sleep , therefore function, and so... for the next little bit I'm not sure what life will hold, except for the inevitable baby household routine (which is becoming quite comforting, actually) Long live the domestic goddess.
I even walked her in the stroller all the way to Channel Court , library & postoffice, and back up the hill again. I figure if I can control my appetite and eating habits better (which should theoretically be more possible now that I have the time and a little more energy to cook and do food planning) and do a decent half hour walk most days , I should be 50 kgs lighter in about a year's time. Give or take Christmas, birthdays, Easter, the odd bakery binge with Mum.....
Of course my ever scheming little brain has kicked into "ok I'm not studying so how am I going to make a crust now?" mode even thought I said I'd give myself 3 more months of vertiable motheriness before I started applying for things, and had the lady round thismorning from the local family day care scheme. Of course, there are always hoops to jump like putting latches on doors, film on windows, getting more beds for little bodies to nap on and putting childproof gates everywhere, which should take me until July to afford, but apparently the Government has a $1500 rebate for start up costs available to help, so not impossible. And it would be great to be with Min during her formative years, not have to plonk her in the germ factory whilst I dash off to some unrewarding job......that's assuming that I can even get one. Not exactly a career, but who cares? Going to bed to read Slyvia Plath.

email to nanna coz we'll be gone b4 you wake up......

Dear Nanna, Thankyou for coming and staying with us, and I'm sorryyou didnt get as much sleep as you should have. I am sleeping fitfullyin Mummy's bed and she is cruising the internet because she cant sleep &is having an existential crisis regarding the validity of her life , butwill get to bed any minute now.Thankyou for all your hard work and for being so neat, it is quite anovelty as my mother is so laissez faire in her approach to basicdomesticity. We hope you will want to come again soon and I look forward to hearing your sermon in June.Lots of Love Minerva & the torturous teeth xoxops. here is a recipe your dad might like:Gluten free Gingerbread Cake (Grandma MacKenzie's recipe)Preheat oven to 160 degree celsiusCream 125g(1/4 of a pound) of butter with a teacup of sugar. Add 1breakfast cup** of golden syrup along with 2 eggs. Stir. Add 2 and 1/2cups*** of plain gluten free flour (or normal flour if you aren't having gluten issues), 1 level tbspn of dried ginger, 1 tspn of allspice, a tiny pinch of salt. Stir some more and then gradually add a teacup of milk inwhich 2 small tspns of baking soda have been dissolved. Mix well, (giveit a good beating if discipline required). Pour into a large-ish cake tin, (I use a generous square one) that's been lined with baking paper or similar. Turn oven down to 150 degree celsiusand bake for about 1 hour.

Easter travels & visits.....

Had my brother Pwyll , his partner Emily & my nephews Awen (9) & Kaya (6) up from Castle Forbes Bay today. Was horrible rainy weather after yesterday being so gorgeous, so they sat in the loungeroom eating Easter choccy's & watching Transformers vids. Hadnt seen them in over three months, Kaya is quite the little man now, his face is changing all the time and I'm sure they're both at least 4 inches taller than last time I saw them!. I still remember babysitting Kaya when he was a squirmy little bundle like Min is now. How it flies.........

Min seemed quite chuffed to be hanging out with the 'big kids', and enjoyed Awen's lunchtime game of peekaboo.

Taking her to swimming tommorrow, although neither of us has fully recovered from our nasal drippiness so should really leave it one more week at least..such a waste of $ though.

Nanna Dianne is down until next week, and is finding Min's (hopefully temporary) three times per night wakings and 4am final wake a tad hard to cope with. She was an absolute angel thismorning though and managed to let me sleep for an extra hour or so whilst she did the washing up and settled Min back into her cot. I really regret not having any close family on hand to help out sometimes, and sometimes wish I belonged to a more immediate, close knit clan, instead of having to wait until major holidays to have everyone together.

Needless to say it is now only 8.49pm and Mum is already pushing out z's!! Is also back to her usual trick of cleaning up everything in sight too, which is slightly frustrating (she is supposed to be chilling out and having a rest )

Lindsay , Minerva and I got back on Sunday night after 5 days over in Victoria for the Easter holidays, to hang out, see the sights, went to Melbourne zoo (the next day Yakini the 95kg gorilla escaped and the zoo went into lockdown!) Spent some quality time with Grandad Raymond & his partner Dorcas at their houses in Fountain Lakes and Drouin. So nice not to have to cook and to get the odd feed & change relief, although 9 month old clinginess definitely on the way.

I have two Anatomy assessments to start which I havnt even read the texts for and are due on Tuesday... and all I want to do is knit. Sure its got something to do with the weather.

Anyway, twas good to get out of the flat for a bit, as I suspect the next part of the year is going to be a pretty hard slog. And the country is now officially in recession, so finding a suitable job and making ends meet should become almost impossible shortly too. Nothing like a bit of positive thinking!!!

Anyway, am too tired to tap much and should probably try to get at least a couple of hours rest, if not deep sleep, tommorrow. Just thought you should know what we've been up to!!

Oh, questions, I have so many of them!!

It has occured to me on numerous occasions that relationships are getting very complicated. First, the whole traditional courtship thing seems to have gone right out the window. I'm not sure when this happened, or how, but I'm not sure its such a great thing. It seems along with every other sphere of our life, we assume we can just pursue the type of relationship we want and that it will be available to us. In experience, however, it seems that having any expectations of the way your significant other should behave towards you whatsoever seem to lead to disappointment.
I guess like most little girls I grew up believing that I'd meet some lovely man who would be attentive and romantic and sweep me off my feet & that I'd end up married and have a family, and for some, this actually seems to work. Not for me, and for several other close female acquaintances.
Apparently we tend to attract people similar to ourselves, and so far my main longish term relationships have been with fairly intense, artistically driven people with a definite lazy streak when it comes to the whole mechanics of a traditional relationship, ie asking for dates, gift giving.
They either faff around not knowing whether they even want a relationship in the traditional sense or just wait passively for it!! Is this laziness/ambivalence inherent in the men of my generation? Have their mothers spoilt them so badly that they think that they need not make any effort whatsoever for things to happen for them and that someone should be looking after them for them to be of any value whatsoever? How did this happen? When did women becaome a commodity ? (Yes , I know, raving feminist rant ahead!)
It almost sounds like a complete role reversal from the 50's...interesting. Or maybe its because I unconsciously attract these kind of needy men and then go about filling the void to prove that I am wanted and needed.
So what SHOULD I be doing? Any ideas appreciated!!