Tuesday, September 1, 2009

The origin of species.....




Wow! Fully two thirds of the year otherwise known as 2009 has disappeared down the cosmic gurgler. My aunty Narelle once warned me about this phenomena, that the older one gets, the faster life seems to speed by. She was right. She usually is. She’s a very smart woman, Narelle. I will write about her more here one of these days, but today’s blog, boys & girls, is going to be about Grandparents.
I would like to preface by saying that where we come from, how we grew up, and the values that our parents & grandparents instill is us are the pivotal , almost inescapable forces that drive us to become what and who we are, for better or for worse. Unfortunately, also , for a lot of the population that means living with a whole lot of left over weird arse depression era mentality , and in Tasmania, specifically, a lot of the recycled shame and class consciousness surrounding our origins as convicts/free settlers/gentry etc. , as well as the comparitive colloqialism and poverty and different era’d ness that Tasmania is renowned for. This little island, no matter how hard we try to update our buildings to look like federation square in Melbourne, is unique in this regard.
My father’s parents, Lillian & Neil Watson, are now both deceased individuals. Neil was a big tall strapping bloke with strong Irish potato crunching convict strains (My dad & I have taken after him) . Lillian, when she first arrived on the island in the 50’s , was a stunning blonde Queenslander with a razor sharp intellect, deadly maternal instinct from a large Mormon tribe. Quite a pair. They had six offspring, of which my father Ray was the eldest child, and I am the eldest child of his three. So we’re pretty bloody domineering in the birth order stakes, which is fine by me, I wouldn’t be anywhere near as accomplished as I am today were it not for the fearlessness and bolshiness instilled by being the torturer and gang leader of two younger brothers growing up!
My dear Mum’s family are from the north of Tassie, around the Launnie/Cressy areas. Grandma Shirley has strong Scottish origins, originating from The Mackerill tribe and the Border Welsh/English reeving (theiveing) tribes in Scotland. We didn’t end up on the ship out for nothing, y’now, and I try to continue these traditions, having been sentenced for dealing in the proceeds of crime when I was eight months pregnant with Minerva last year (Yes , readers, I have a criminal record!!) It was a pretty bloody dramatic time, I can tell you, getting a suspended jail term when you’re about to drop your bundle is not the most fabulous thing in the world. Anyhow, I have done me time & am off probation, and am a reformed internet pirate now, so no need to lock up your sons or your briefcases….
Grandpa Ray was an electrician called Sparks (ahahahah) hence all our fascination with incredibly complex pursuits like cake decorating, playing the devil’s trill sonata backwards on the violin, and impersonating police officers. Not sure exactly what his ethnice origins were , but I detect a hint of Latino in his skin colouring and mannerisms. He’s the most wonderful great grandfather to Minnie, loves her to bits, and can often be found herding up his granddaughters when they are in town…..Love you, my grandies xoxox

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

camera works again...yay


hopefully I can upload these photos ok......
baby girl is 1 in 5 days time....its gone so fast (mostly!)

Monday, July 13, 2009

the muse has left the building........

well, dear readers (yes both of you)
I havnt really added to this blog very much of late because I am finding life to be singularly uninteresting. I'm back at work two and a half days a week, and the harder I work, the more bills I seem to get,(massive power bill, broken washing machine, heaps car repairs, broken tooth, etc etc etc,,,,,) and the sicker the baby And I seem to get. In the space of a few months, we've had projectile vomiting (Min) , blocked eustachian tube (ear) me, a cold & sinussy thing that took the nest of 3 weeks to go away, and today Min came home with a green crusty eye. I give up. I really just want to stop doing everything outside the house and just cocoon us both and eat good things and catch up on sleep and exercise and good food and funny movies and soul enriching books. But......
As I am a working class single parent with bills to pay , none of this is an option. I need a break. I feel like running away. I am constantly tired. Help!

Thursday, July 2, 2009

a drunken hazard...email trawling....

Oh well, if anybody's interested I thought it was pretty flipping funny. But then I am a bit drunk, so bear with me.........

(approx a year ago):
hi Betty,
glad to hear all sounds good, was a little worried things had crashed & burned with boy (goddamn I've forgotten his name, not that's that's a rare thing these days..)YES you have to make all the decisions, its a female only chromosome didnt you know........anyway , it would be worse if you were both leaders . Dont make for a very comfy dance sometimes. I am practising being assuaging and "yes dearish " & it seems to work sometimes. Of course once Miv is born & am a hormonal leaky banshee with no cash it will be a different story. and god help him if he tries to tell me what to do during birth!! Am having a partylites show thingy at mine at 2pm saturday week, Mel said you were into candles and I'm going to have am crack at working for myself again doing them, they look & smell gorgeous, anyway come along & havesome wine & cheese (the demo lady's name is Cinnamon, isnt that cool............) Dept of justice hey? Cool. What doing? I am really over work, would like to pack it all in and just read in bed all day but money situation wouldnt work....... they increased my hours again too so better stick it out until I reeeally cant function any more. Went to the bank to plead poverty & see if I could get some of my super back, forms , forms & more forms......

Mum is down for a few days on Monday , have been really resentful & woe is me in regards to having little support lately so she will probably cop a guilt trip or three, that or she'll decide its time to kidnap me again and I will head north for a while. would have to board the kitty though, which she hates...........she's getting a bit stressed since I started playing her cds with screaming baby noises on them to adjust her and wee'd in my beanbag. (the cat , that is, not Mum)
NOT IMPRESSES!!!

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

cars and the falling apart nature of things

Well the trip didnt exactly go as planned. But then, nothing has of late, so am not terribly surprised about that. The baby got sick (REALLY sick...projectile vomiting the poor little munchkin), we missed the party, and the car decided it needs a new alternator that I can ill afford right now. I've only just forked out $320 for a new windscreen from the last attempt at returning to work when some bastard sideswiped my car which I'd parked outside the childcare centre after abandoning it for the day due to the presence of a large hunstsman I wasnt prepared to share the commute to work with....NOW THE FUCKING ALTERNATOR NEEDS REPLACING!!(Excuse the french but the car goddesses have turned a blind eye of late)
I just cant seem to break even, let alone get ahead these days.
Still. I am grateful for: Having a devoted father for Min who is prepared to mollycoddle her back to good health when she is poorly, my beautiful accomodating and concerned mother who refuses to send me off in any danger and with a beautifully packed lunch for the trip home at the ripe old age of 32 and who I wish lived closer, that Spence is a year older, regardless of whether we could help him celebrate or not, that we are alive to see gorgeous , perfect cobwebs on a misty
Winter morning, that we have good books to read, music to listen to and a warm house to come home to, that I can have a laugh at work with another fabulous single mum and side splitting stories of her terribly bright four year old.....

Life could be so much worse. Happy solstice, all.

Friday, June 19, 2009

its life jim, but not as we know it.......

Well life moving onwards ever slowly. Am up at 2.30 in the morning contemplating dishes and washing, housework getting on top of me....nothing new there then! Worked two days this week, Wednesday and Friday, and having to be up by 6.15am and not getting home in the tassie mid winter until 5ish is slightly depressing. Still, it had to happen. and much better than the attempted graveyard shift and friday night chaos which I discovered I wasnt up to at all quite quickly. Was ok when I was a carefree single gal who lived three blocks away from work, not quite so workable now.
I have dicovered the joys of Facebook and re connected with quite a few old friends/lovers/artistic collaborators which has been fun. Good distraction from my now quieter and emptier house since Linds has been gone.
Have almost registered with mersey leven in home care to become ...ahem...an in home carer...should just about adequately supplement the income and possibly eventually replace current brainless unchallenging and too far away job, and utilise already gained skills and interests. also have enrolled part time in distance learning through curtain uni to do primary school teaching. the next study period doesnt start until the end of august and is only two subjects per semester so will take four years all going well and is flexible re starting and stopping for life events (and lord knows I always seem to attract my fair share of major life disruptions!!)
Tommorrow we pack up and head north for little Spencer Best's 1st birthday and naming day celebrations (his mum Mel and I were celebrating our very pregnant bellies together at a baby shower about this time last year, so will be a nice little milestone hopefully!) He's a delightful wee sprite and I look forward to knowing his Mum & seeing him & Min get to know each other as they grow up. Also looking forward to some quality out -of -the -house time with the Revered Nanna in Devonport for a couple of days and a Aztec chilli hot choccy at Anvers in Latrobe, and catching up with a friend in Carrick and her three gorgeous sprites. There are SOME good things about winter in Tassie!!

Monday, June 15, 2009

the great ongoing saga


Couldnt do it. Just couldnt subject myself to the constant presence of another adult (& messy and financially precarious one at that). Should have trusted my instincts and learned from my mistakes but a dream is a hard thing to shake, I guess. Anyway. Min is still here and still gorgeous and engaging, is finally saying "Mum mum" yes!!!
we are housed fed clothed and supported and for now, that's all that counts. And the pressure valve can now be released re trying to afford a wedding when we're on the breadline. psshhhhtttt!
a very sleep deprived photo as minerva woke me twice last night and no daddy to do the feed since i've sent him back to the underworld... hard to get a good pic anymore as min has a pavlovian screw up her face reaction to the flash and I havnt figured out how to turn it off yet....bugger.

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

moving on in......


Well it was too good to last! Minnie mouse has slept through the last three nights with nary a sqwawk but tonight has woken up and drained a bottle at 1.30 am. Guess it was my turn to do it, Linds having been a veritable domestic God today taking care of her whilst I snored away Tuesday night's return to the all night radio room shift. I'd forgotten just how hard it was to stay awake. The usual call from the police regarding local armed robbery, me forgetting how to do the prospects for the drivers, the 4.30am scramble to make sure we have enough cars for bookings etc.
I am still job hunting (seems to be a habit , really) as tommorrow our household will number three with the arrival of Linds and his stuff, and the inevitable scramble to feed us all and keep up with the bills on meagre centrelink benefits and 16 hours work a week does not sound like a great option to me.
Linds is pretty much unskilled apart from the art of loungeroom guitaring and cab driving , so unfortunately it is up to me to breadwin, at least for the time being, anyway. It doesnt really sit that easily, but what can you do? At least he is wonderful with Minerva, and me, and happy to care for her whilst I go gallavanting off to work/interviews, and , one hopes, some creative or academic type endeavors quite soon (I will die of worker droneism shortly, otherwise)
I have never actually cohabited before so that is also going to present a different set of circumstances for me.
The new owner of upstairs has timely commenced renovations (ripping up carpet and lino and angle grinding outside my bedroom window) the same week I have returned to shiftwork and havnt the tradies been receiving some deadly looks of late!! We are hoping it will all be completed by next week and the hive will return to its more orderly buzz. Mum arrives on Saturday and leaves Monday, and will have to navigate around all the stuff we've just moved in . I am so over this week already.
Oh, & my girl has finally got the hang of crawling. It still shocks me that I can put her down & will turn around and see her edging ever closer. Walking wont be far away. Where did my little baby go ??!!

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Bride to be and the social whirl.......

Goodness gracious me, I am engaged! Spent three days in near shock after Min's Dad and my on/off me amour of 6 years or so took me completely by surprise by popping the question the other night whilst having the traditional after dinner drinky out the back.....think I surprised myself more by actually saying yes! My mother was very excited, as were bro & sis in law and the friends, colleagues and family I've managed to inform thus far....think they were all (not so secretly) hoping we'd eventually get our act together. Its a big move for Linds, he's had a very bacheloresque life for quite a bit now...
Anyway, we took the girl to the beach for bit thisarvo and managed to find a suit jacket that fitted him perfectly in less than five minutes at the local op shop, and I found a pair or witchy looking dark burgundy size 11's (yes, I am a heifer!). Now to drop quite a few dress sizes by November 14th. We're scoping out Brookfield Winery tommorrow morning as a venue. Want to keep it sweet, antiquey & family oriented. My colleague Meleah's 5 year old Meg is to be my flower girl, other roles t.b.a.
so now I have my nephew and brother 's birthdays (May 27th & 30th), Min's baptism (June 7th), Spence's name day up in Sheffield (June 20th) our engagement party (June 27th) and am back at work two graveyards a week from the 29th of May too, along with all the non work type work as well (which Linds has been a huge help with lately) & wedding preps.....sheiser....how did my simple life get so complicated all of a sudden.
Still, a very happy munckin right now, and the cat does not have the cream, I do!!!

Thursday, May 14, 2009

houston....we have pulling up


I must say I've been a nit lax putting the side up on the cot but I just went in to get madam and this is what I saw.....needless to say, we now obviouls have pulling up skills.

Monday, May 11, 2009

found this one at docwitchys site, interesting




You Are the Third Eye Chakra



You are insightful and spiritual. You trust your intuition.

You are deeply philosophical. You spend a lot of time thinking and theorizing.



You are wise beyond your years. People turn to you for direction and hope.

You are a clear thinker. You often know what you want to do and how you're going to do it.

poem

My muse has been hiding for a few years now……….
But every now and then
She pokes a wary eye around my doorway
Or I catch a glimpse of her
Heading the other way down my street
Me with my pram, she with her glamorous
Identity,
My perverse and taunting doppelganger
Gave birth to a girl called power
Gave birth to my/her future self
Am almost jealous of her pure potential
Of all that lies ahead
All the joy and heartbreak
Things to feel & see for the first time
How good would it be’ to rewind?
But I am her willing slave
Would I make the choices differently?
If I had the chance again?
Would I just ignore the man/the yearning?
We are raw materials
Cell and blastocyst
taste and quality tested, packaged and marketed
We only choose which way to walk
In the shoes that are given to us
Today I walked out of probation
Into perdition
And he’s still driving my car

Thursday, April 30, 2009

In the merry merry month of MAY


My aquaintance Natalie Monu Dixon is due to give birth to her first child today....GOOD LUCK!!!! Birth was nothing like I expected it. It was bloody awful. I cant think of one good thing about it. Except maybe the epidural, which wore off waaay too fast. I would really like to have more children but the birth thing is still a big sticking point....and the money thing. And the time to myself thing...maybe I should seriously rethink the more children thing!

Here is a cute pic of my baby girl holding onto the highchair and doing high singing noises...look out world, another future soprano diva in the making!! (in cloth nappy , you will notice...I have gone all freakin earth mother of late, even going so far as to purchase eco friendly bath cleaning products and make a better effort at recycling rubbish...goodness, what's going on??) So far so good, takes a little bit more planning , but hell, what have I got to do now?

Emily popped by yesterday afternoon which was nice, after I waited for her and Oliver to make an appearance the other day and neither of them did. I dont mind being a hermit, really, most of the time, but it is nice to find out what others are up to from time to time. She's doing ok, the jewellery is selling well, although not near enough to make it a viable employment option.

Linds is on bub duty today. We're planning on going out to base at Taxi Combined and hassling them to give me some hours back & updating his pv license.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Maudlin mood.....not sure why, has been a pretty good day. I made the difficult (but I believe, sensible) desicion to unenrol myself from Enrolled Nursing. I hadnt made it to enough of the prac or tuorials to take in enough information as the wee sprite I share an abode & a life with is entering the TEETHING ZONE. And then exiting. And then reentering. Also, since she weaned herself onto formula bottles a couple of weeks back she's come home at the end of each week with another horrible cold. I will miss all those antibodies. The upshot of all this is she doesnt sleep, I dont sleep , therefore function, and so... for the next little bit I'm not sure what life will hold, except for the inevitable baby household routine (which is becoming quite comforting, actually) Long live the domestic goddess.
I even walked her in the stroller all the way to Channel Court , library & postoffice, and back up the hill again. I figure if I can control my appetite and eating habits better (which should theoretically be more possible now that I have the time and a little more energy to cook and do food planning) and do a decent half hour walk most days , I should be 50 kgs lighter in about a year's time. Give or take Christmas, birthdays, Easter, the odd bakery binge with Mum.....
Of course my ever scheming little brain has kicked into "ok I'm not studying so how am I going to make a crust now?" mode even thought I said I'd give myself 3 more months of vertiable motheriness before I started applying for things, and had the lady round thismorning from the local family day care scheme. Of course, there are always hoops to jump like putting latches on doors, film on windows, getting more beds for little bodies to nap on and putting childproof gates everywhere, which should take me until July to afford, but apparently the Government has a $1500 rebate for start up costs available to help, so not impossible. And it would be great to be with Min during her formative years, not have to plonk her in the germ factory whilst I dash off to some unrewarding job......that's assuming that I can even get one. Not exactly a career, but who cares? Going to bed to read Slyvia Plath.

Sunday, April 19, 2009

email to nanna coz we'll be gone b4 you wake up......

Dear Nanna, Thankyou for coming and staying with us, and I'm sorryyou didnt get as much sleep as you should have. I am sleeping fitfullyin Mummy's bed and she is cruising the internet because she cant sleep &is having an existential crisis regarding the validity of her life , butwill get to bed any minute now.Thankyou for all your hard work and for being so neat, it is quite anovelty as my mother is so laissez faire in her approach to basicdomesticity. We hope you will want to come again soon and I look forward to hearing your sermon in June.Lots of Love Minerva & the torturous teeth xoxops. here is a recipe your dad might like:Gluten free Gingerbread Cake (Grandma MacKenzie's recipe)Preheat oven to 160 degree celsiusCream 125g(1/4 of a pound) of butter with a teacup of sugar. Add 1breakfast cup** of golden syrup along with 2 eggs. Stir. Add 2 and 1/2cups*** of plain gluten free flour (or normal flour if you aren't having gluten issues), 1 level tbspn of dried ginger, 1 tspn of allspice, a tiny pinch of salt. Stir some more and then gradually add a teacup of milk inwhich 2 small tspns of baking soda have been dissolved. Mix well, (giveit a good beating if discipline required). Pour into a large-ish cake tin, (I use a generous square one) that's been lined with baking paper or similar. Turn oven down to 150 degree celsiusand bake for about 1 hour.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Easter travels & visits.....




Had my brother Pwyll , his partner Emily & my nephews Awen (9) & Kaya (6) up from Castle Forbes Bay today. Was horrible rainy weather after yesterday being so gorgeous, so they sat in the loungeroom eating Easter choccy's & watching Transformers vids. Hadnt seen them in over three months, Kaya is quite the little man now, his face is changing all the time and I'm sure they're both at least 4 inches taller than last time I saw them!. I still remember babysitting Kaya when he was a squirmy little bundle like Min is now. How it flies.........


Min seemed quite chuffed to be hanging out with the 'big kids', and enjoyed Awen's lunchtime game of peekaboo.

Taking her to swimming tommorrow, although neither of us has fully recovered from our nasal drippiness so should really leave it one more week at least..such a waste of $ though.


Nanna Dianne is down until next week, and is finding Min's (hopefully temporary) three times per night wakings and 4am final wake a tad hard to cope with. She was an absolute angel thismorning though and managed to let me sleep for an extra hour or so whilst she did the washing up and settled Min back into her cot. I really regret not having any close family on hand to help out sometimes, and sometimes wish I belonged to a more immediate, close knit clan, instead of having to wait until major holidays to have everyone together.


Needless to say it is now only 8.49pm and Mum is already pushing out z's!! Is also back to her usual trick of cleaning up everything in sight too, which is slightly frustrating (she is supposed to be chilling out and having a rest )


Lindsay , Minerva and I got back on Sunday night after 5 days over in Victoria for the Easter holidays, to hang out, see the sights, went to Melbourne zoo (the next day Yakini the 95kg gorilla escaped and the zoo went into lockdown!) Spent some quality time with Grandad Raymond & his partner Dorcas at their houses in Fountain Lakes and Drouin. So nice not to have to cook and to get the odd feed & change relief, although 9 month old clinginess definitely on the way.


I have two Anatomy assessments to start which I havnt even read the texts for and are due on Tuesday... and all I want to do is knit. Sure its got something to do with the weather.


Anyway, twas good to get out of the flat for a bit, as I suspect the next part of the year is going to be a pretty hard slog. And the country is now officially in recession, so finding a suitable job and making ends meet should become almost impossible shortly too. Nothing like a bit of positive thinking!!!


Anyway, am too tired to tap much and should probably try to get at least a couple of hours rest, if not deep sleep, tommorrow. Just thought you should know what we've been up to!!

Friday, April 3, 2009

Oh, questions, I have so many of them!!

It has occured to me on numerous occasions that relationships are getting very complicated. First, the whole traditional courtship thing seems to have gone right out the window. I'm not sure when this happened, or how, but I'm not sure its such a great thing. It seems along with every other sphere of our life, we assume we can just pursue the type of relationship we want and that it will be available to us. In experience, however, it seems that having any expectations of the way your significant other should behave towards you whatsoever seem to lead to disappointment.
I guess like most little girls I grew up believing that I'd meet some lovely man who would be attentive and romantic and sweep me off my feet & that I'd end up married and have a family, and for some, this actually seems to work. Not for me, and for several other close female acquaintances.
Apparently we tend to attract people similar to ourselves, and so far my main longish term relationships have been with fairly intense, artistically driven people with a definite lazy streak when it comes to the whole mechanics of a traditional relationship, ie asking for dates, gift giving.
They either faff around not knowing whether they even want a relationship in the traditional sense or just wait passively for it!! Is this laziness/ambivalence inherent in the men of my generation? Have their mothers spoilt them so badly that they think that they need not make any effort whatsoever for things to happen for them and that someone should be looking after them for them to be of any value whatsoever? How did this happen? When did women becaome a commodity ? (Yes , I know, raving feminist rant ahead!)
It almost sounds like a complete role reversal from the 50's...interesting. Or maybe its because I unconsciously attract these kind of needy men and then go about filling the void to prove that I am wanted and needed.
So what SHOULD I be doing? Any ideas appreciated!!

Friday, March 27, 2009

My little garden gnome..........(last fine day in March??).


Sunny Saturday = Washing, washing & more washing. We've both been down with a mystery lurgy for the last week & it's been piling up again.......have only just started feeling energetic enough to do any of it. Missed my lectures this week & am furiously trying to beat the clock to do all my basic chemistry and orientation of the human body WebCt assessments before Tuesday when the next lot of work hits. So much for this being a part time course. Or maybe its the fact that its the first time I've actually attempted any study with someone else to look out for apart from myself. Whole different ball game.



Anyway, got my marigolds, tomatoes and sunflowers into the planter boxes and some washing done. Min outside with me on her magic carpet enjoying looking around at the outside world (oooh, grass.....oohh...bees/flies/lizards)


At lunch time caught the food bowl with her foot so most of her meal ended up (splattered ) on the splatter mat . I've been dutifully cutting up things into little pieces so she can do the recommended 8 month old finger food thing, but God its messy . Wish I could just fast forward to the serving up her a normal meal and her being able to get the food in her mouth instead of everywhere else....few more months methinks. The nappies are also getting atrocious. Making the child carers and even Linds gag. As tiring as it was, exclusive breastfeeding was so much easier.



Back to work (gosh that Women's weekly is looking interesting right about now)



Thursday, March 12, 2009

Progress!!

Had a good day today. Actually its been a pretty good week, all told. Adressed some of the pressing gardening issues today, wish I could say I'd done it all myself but hired a local guy to bring back the hedge out the front of our units and whipper snipper down the side of mine and all the garden beds. He shall be back! (To fix up fences, put some soil in the garden beds so somethings might actually grow) Almost back to a state of being able to dream about putting some life and colour back into our garden (Autumn probably not the best time to contemplate that, but I am seeing visions of rose bushes, a veggie patch, a bird bath, a set of swings...a proper lawn)

My nursing course started this week, although I only made it to one of the two days of orientation, I am very excited about the next adventure. I think I can see myself being a nurse....I know a few, and its not such a big leap between music and medicine. Now to seriously start brushing up on my biology knowledge. There must still be some in there, somewhere.

Spent the three weeks prior in a temp placement at the Centrelink call centre spruiking the Government's latest stimulus package, reporting people's earnings, being bored out of my brain, smoking too much in the quadrangle in the freezing cold , missing the baby and watching a crane put more levels on the Centrepoint carpark. Needed to do it , partly to clear some debt, partly to prove to myself that I am actually capable of getting myself a real job, and getting myself and a small child organised enough to function in the 'real world' again.

I wasnt. We barely functioned, I was grumpy & tired, the house was trashed, I spent my Sundays depressed at the prospect of going back there, and sadly spent too much of my wage on lunch & parking & gifts for Minerva as little guilt offerings . The icing on the cake was when she yelled at me all morning whilst I was trying to get her breakfasted and dressed and then got to the child care centre and gave the carer a big snuggle!!! Grrrr!! I should be happy that she's settled in there so well and loves to play with and watch the other children, but I felt like instead I had signed over my mothering role. I knew this single motherhood would all be a huge balancing act, and so far I have dropped more balls than juggled them! Still, it's only early days.

Now I will only be on campus Monday's & Tuesdays, and there is only one full time prac placement this year, so that and study time will be the only things that will come between me & my girl, who is growing up so fast!!

We finally made it thismorning (to the 5th week!) of the swimming classes I had enrolled us in at Kingston. I didnt know any of the songs, but the teacher was great, and Min had a ball, splashing about and yelping getting thoroughly distacted by the dolphin decorations on the ceiling!! the pool is also warm, which will be a definite incentive to keep going throughout the Winter.

Had a flying visit from Nanna Di on Monday/Tuesday. Felt odd racing off in the mornings but had some good catch up time on Monday , took the stoller along the beach and finished up with a girl date at the local beachside ice cream parlour (which we filled up with sand )walked around Big W searching for beanbag beans and instead coming out with baby outfits and lollies. We are so impulsive and undisciplined!!

Keiran around tonight after a few rough weeks with us. Think we are back on track (or at least communicating, which is a nice change) and have agreed to weekly dates , and also agreed that we should organise an outing soon with just us and no third wheel in the form of a delightful but unfocussing nearly 8 month old) I am soooo ready to just go out and hang out without her. I need some of myself back!! It was really great just hanging out in the back yard on a balmy evening shooting the breeze. I really like him . He's complicated , but then so am I, and I guess I have to once and for all put to bed images of a nuclear family, being married and suburban and having a brood....unless of course.....;)

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

February already.....


It was groudhog day recently. And the idea of groundhog day seems a bit like what life is like for me at the moment. Trying to get somewhere but waking up and still being in the same place. I guess some people call this stability ...... or just endless holiday syndrome. Funny, towards the end of being pregnant I couldnt wait to have time off from the structure of work, but it seems that I prefer it now, Having someplace to go, something tangible to do. Not that I dont love being Min's mum, its just that its so....relentless!! And not terribly mentally challenging...and can be lonely......

Minerva has learned how to sit up by herself & isnt she so very pleased with herself....funny , these milestone things, you can never quite remember the exact moment when your child masters something, but there has to be one? Still no indication of wanting to do the rolling thing or that first toothy peg popping through, but all in god's good proximodistal developmental time!!! (yes, I am still overdosing on parenting manuals)

Went to the info/enrolment night for the enrolled nursing course. 220 applicants for 60 places...sheesh. Well, it obvious that there are just too many people in the world, that's what. My car broke down on the way home, and this drunk woman came running down the slope and started waving in the traffic. God!! Ract arrived but only after a kindly policeman had managed to reverse the car out of the overtake lane and back into the bus slip lane....embarrassing. One more thing to buy this year, a decent, safer set of wheels.......

Have just been up post 3am feed (when oh WHEN will she sleep through???) listening to an mp3 that keiran did..mish mash of him playing guitar bits and singing a little. He told me his singing was horrible but its fine. Not perfect, but marketable, which is what he was hoping for, anyway. Have told him so. Even toying with the idea of doing a bit myself this year, and have managed to get 3 students (all voice, no less) starting this week. No idea what to teach them of course, but we will get there. (quick trip to uni/con libraries to raid materials!!)

Have returned to work and can actually remember how to do it!! Quite relieved about that, had been having awful nightmares about it for yonks now , including one last week about throwing a complete hissy fit and walking out on one of the board members...ouch!!

Heading up to Devonport next week to show off Minnie to Granpa Spark's sister, Marlene. & to return Mum's quilt that she spent 5 painstaking years making..she's entering it into a competition up there soon. Have to squeeze trip in on the few days I have off between swimming lessons for the little chicken on thursdays and back to work tuesdays.....

Have seriously been thinking of just retreating and having some more stay at home mummy time, as I still cant even seem to get all my housework done, but know that I would become completely barking mad if I stayed home for the rest of 2009.

ciao!!

Monday, January 12, 2009

2009..ready & waiting!

Well. Here we all are then. New year, new house (or rather, should I say, old house, having lived at Mum's proposed retirement flat a few years back) in Kingston, new boyfriend (as of Christmas Eve..certainly wasnt anticipating that one!!)
It all seems to look far too promising!!Last year was remarkable for its unpredictability...at the start of 2008 I had a job, a man(questionable!), a cat, was pregnant, was reasonably settled housing wise, and by the end of October it all became unstuck. Was homeless, fleabitten, single with a baby , no job and few prospects. (see post before last)
So am cautiously optimistic about 2009. Thank god for my mother is all I can say, without whom who knows where we would be now. she has generously let me move back into her property to give us some sort of stability for the year & to catch up a bit with the pile of debts that have been accruing steadily since I left work to have Minerva in June last year. Not only that but she spent the best part of a month looking after us up in Devonport , re washing every skerrick of household linen & clothing that we own, and fighting our wars for us with the last real estate agency. (Just got a call from the residential tenancy commissioner, who is actually going to ask for some of our lost bond and fumigation costs back...wonders will never cease)
All in all, we had a nice quiet Christmas, spent lunch on the day down on my little brother's block at Castle Forbes bay with quite a hangover from the champagne & oysters & night feeds the night before....and a quiet New Years Eve with family & new bloke. Not sure why we all had to sit up til midnight and then everyone buggered off home and mum toddled off to bed. I felt like ratshit for two days afterwards.........
First hot Summer day today at 31 degrees, am waiting for new couch to arrive (no more wicker cane jobby, may actually be able to slob out properly and feel comfortable feeding Miv). Other recent happenings include my Grandfather, Neil Watson, dying on the 19th of December from having to have an operation to repair two broken legs sustained during a fall. He was 86 and had advanced cancer so one of those deaths that are sad but probably better quick than lingering. They flew his body down to Tasmania from Victoria and he was buried a few days into the new year at the Huon cemetary, where Watson's Rd still shows the generational echo of centuries of our family's heritage.
Taxi combined dont seem to be that keen to give me any retraining/work in the radio room despite fond farewells and promise of return to work flexibility, so I've made tentative enquiries towards doing the dip enrolled nursing at tafe. Depending on how I go I may choose to go on and study to be a registered nurse at Uni. Or I may be at Tafe a week and decide its all too soon and I no longer have any brain cells and just stay at home with Minerva and look for some part time easy work. Preferably cash in hand. Nothing like a bit of optimism!!
So here's to a better and brighter year. May we all live, love, learn and leave a loving legacy...